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Djoser at War

by Catherine Sadler, Ramah, CO, USA


It was a long day and it was very cold when I got home. After feeding the cats and myself, I decided to turn the electric blanket on so it would have plenty of time to warm the bed. Then I sat at my computer relaxing while I caught up on my reading. I soon had a lap warmer and another on the desk trying to get into my lap also.

Usually Djoser gets my lap but this time Amber beat him to it. Djoser paced the desk and occasionally reached a paw toward the chair arm. But Amber must have been giving him a look because he always drew his paw back. After about 30 minutes, though, Djoser couldn't stand it any longer. He wanted Amber out of his lap. He stretched out a paw and slapped Amber in the face!

Amber reared back and his ears went flat. Not wishing to be the battlefield, I grabbed both cats and tried to soothe them. That didn't work. Both were growling and had their hackles raised. So I sent them to the floor where they went to different rooms, growling all the way.

After a little more reading, I decided to go to bed early. So I prepared the coffeepot for morning and cleaned the litter pans and then headed for the bedroom. I noticed Sheba was on the bed and Amber was on the sewing table looking out the window at the moonlit bunnies.

I climbed into my nice warm bed and snuggled into the covers while Sheba settled near my belly, purring. I soon drifted off into a twilight zone of warmth and purrs. Then in the misty realms of sleepiness, I felt Djoser jump onto the bed and head toward me.

All of a sudden I woke up with a jerk as the bed bounced and swayed and I was pummeled by something and deafened by shrieks and howls and roars! I reached for the light to see what the heck was going on. It was Sheba and Djoser in full battle array!

Djoser was snarling "Get outa my sleeping place" and Sheba was snarling "First come, first served" and Djoser said "What's mine is mine, always" and Sheba said "Possession is 9 points of the law" Djoser shrieked "you thieving hussy!" Sheba screamed "Your father was a feral!"......!!!!!!

In between the feline insults they were slapping and tackling each other hard enough to shake me and the bed. I grabbed both of them and separated them. Then I laid back down while speaking to them with authority about me getting some sleep and for them to settle down. Djoser squatted near my feet with a faint growl. Sheba went to her usual place in the protected circle of my arm, muttering to herself.

A few minutes later I felt Djoser walking my body and slithering down into the vacated spot near my belly. I put a hand on him and we all went to sleep. I woke up briefly in the night with my arm cold; but my hand was warm: Amber had joined us and trapped my hand between him and Djoser. I guess he forgave Djoser's slap......or forgot it.

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