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Rules for Cat/Dog cohabitation

by Vicky Chapman, NSW, Australia


Shmogg & Fluffy, I think, have got their terms of co-habitation worked out.

The rules as far as I can make them out are:

  1. Shmogg is the Superior Species of the household and will not tolerate any insurrection.
  2. All creatures in the house will show due and proper respect for the Superior Species.
  3. As Fluffy does not provide food for the Superior Species, Fluffy will be whopped if within whopping distance if Shmogg so feels like.
  4. Shmogg is not responsible for ensuring that Fluffy stays out of whopping distance.
  5. It is Fluffy's responsibility to stay out of whopping range, even if Shmogg maneuvres so that Fluffy is now in whopping range.
  6. All play is under Shmogg's terms only.
  7. No play will interfere with a Superior Species' dignity, unless otherwise decided upon by Shmogg.
  8. If said activity does interfere with the Superior Species' dignity, the inferior creatures will be polite enough not to notice (refer, rule 2)
  9. Shmogg is allowed to retreat at to the top off the lounge without warning, and play will instantly be terminated. Any further play will be treated as an invitation for a whopping.
  10. Shmogg may or may not hiss, arch his back or give any other form of warning regarding immanent delivery of a whop, at his sole discretion.

I'm sure that there are other, more subtle, clauses and sub-clauses, but I think these are the basics. I wonder if they'll stay the same when Fluffy grows up to be about four times as big as Shmoggleberry? Somehow, I think not.


Editor's note:

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