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Why Do You...

by Roger Hooker


As I got out of the shower, I turned and saw Tabby and Reina sitting patiently on the bathroom counter-top. Both had their little heads turned in that cute cat way of communicating 'What are you doing?'

"Hi, guys! What 'cha doing?" I said to the duo.

Tabby spoke first. "What were you doing in that small room, human?"

"Taking a shower," I replied.

"A shower?" Reina chimed in. "What's that?"

"Oh... I guess you cats call it a bath... I was cleaning myself."

"Oooo! I gotta see this!" Tabby said and quick as a wink he was down on the floor and into the shower stall. The black and white form known as Reina was quickly behind him.

"Where is it?" Reina queried me.

"Where's what?" I asked.

"The giant tongue... You must have one in here as that little bitty thing in your mouth isn't enough to do the job!" replied Reina. "You need a nice long one like we have."

"Uhh... guys.." I stammered as I thought about what to say... "Guys, humans don't use their tongues...we use water...and soap."

"WATER???" they both increduously asked.

Tabby continued as he jumped out of the bath tub: "Why on earth would you use WATER when you could do just as well with saliva?"

"Yeah," Reina said as she, too, left the tub. "WATER is so... disgusting... it leaves you... all.... wet. With cat saliva, you get a very light cleaning... no muss... no fuss!" (Reina's clearly been watching too much TV!) "You don't even have to take off your fur to do it!"

"Trust me, guys... all humans use lots of water and soap -- that is -- when they clean themselves."

"Hrmph!" declared Tabby. "And you humans think you're the advanced species! My, my, my...."

With that, they left, shaking their heads in bewilderment at the now cold and shivering human and I, standing there, wondering silently if they didn't have a point (it WAS cold!).

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