The cat hasn't been eating properly the last two weeks. I've been kidding myself it's spring fever but have been worried. But he looks so well. He's been racing around the place with eyes glittering and tail held high. The frig is full of spurned, opened tins of cat food. I have knocked myself out cooking chicken and fish. He sniffs and says 'nix'. I have bought special 'treats' for cats - 'nix'.
This morning I had had enough. Ollie had said 'nix' once too often. I bundled him into a cage and took him to the vet. "I feel such a fraud," I mumbled to her, "he looks so well, but....."
She smiled sympathetically "I know how you feel," she said. "My cat wasn't eating and I was really worried - until I found it was feeding at the neighbours." She bent over Ollie and began feeling his stomach, "Hello darling," she said.
I knew straight away that Ollie had fallen for her. He began to purr immediately and watched her adoringly. She couldn't find a thing wrong. "He's in perfect condition," she said. "I'll just have a little listen to his heart."
She bent down close to the cat's ears and affixed her stethoscope to his chest. Ollie turned his head to look at her. I knew exactly what he was thinking, she was very very attractive. He didn't hesitate. Without further to do he kissed her - fair on the lips. I could see she was flattered - and she kissed him right back. "Darling," she said.
I was given some stuff in a tube to give Ollie in case he had a fur ball. "Bring him back in a few days if he doesn't start eating", she said. "But I don't think you need worry, he's a beautiful, healthy cat."
The cat thrives on such flattery. I could hear him purring with delight while I coughed up my $43 for the bill.
When we got home the cat went straight to the frig. "Meow," he said.
I offered him a plate of cat food and he scoffed the lot. Perhaps love had made him hungry. "You couldn't have done that this morning," I growled. "I could have saved myself a trip to the vet." But Ollie wasn't listening. He was dreaming of his new- found sweetheart. Cats - ya gotta love 'em.