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The Physics of Cats

by AG, Colorado, USA

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My theory of cats (well, specifically kittens - we might need another theory for adult cats) is that cats exist in two states:

The exact characteristics of the probability distribution remain to be discovered. I believe that like electron orbitals (S/P/D orbitals and so forth), the exact shape of the probability distribution changes with the energy state of the cat, and also like orbitals, changes with the addition of other nearby cats or humans, forming various types of bonds.

With enough further research it might be discovered that state one is merely a degenerate case of state two, which might someday lead to a Grand Unified Theory of Cats that could completely explain Feline Physics.

As an aside: cats have an antiparticle: paper grocery sacks. Like any particle/antiparticle pair, a cat and its antiparticle (the paper grocery sack) will annihilate in a great burst of energy when they come into contact with each other. This depletes the energy of the cat and reduces it to the minimum energy state (state one).

But my field is engineering, not physics, so I'll have to leave further theoretical work in this area to the people with real physics backgrounds.

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